Anonymous blog: my experience with involuntary hospitalisation and the harm it causes

The author of this contribution wishes to remain anonymous.

In December 2003, aged 26, I attended hospital for what I thought would be a blood and urine test to allay concerns about an episode of erratic behaviour in the preceding 72 hours.  The behaviour was triggered by various stressors and stimulatory experiences connected with a long-term girlfriend ending our relationship that Spring, prior to me meeting a new girlfriend.

Without my consultation, an emergency physician friend had recommended to my mother I attend hospital as he’d viewed some natural euphoria after meeting my new girlfriend as symptomatic of mania.  Despite my behaviour, I was at zero risk to myself, or anyone else, and had no issues in my full-time job prior to the hospitalisation.

Instead of being conveyed to the emergency ward, unbeknownst to me, an ambulance transported me to the hospital’s High Dependency Unit.  After consulting with several staff, I tried to leave, whereupon I found the door locked before several large men jumped me as I repeatedly decried "false imprisonment" to the visible dismay of several nurses.   I was then pinned to a bed and injected with pharmaceuticals without consent and incarcerated for 10 days.[1]

The hospital’s diagnosis was a manic phase of bi-polar, despite which I discontinued medication within weeks of my release.

For the next 17 years, I remained medication free, built a highly successful legal career, and did not miss a day of work for mental health reasons.

In July 2021, I was again involuntarily hospitalised for 5 days in extraordinary circumstances.  Police and a clinician attended my home on a Sunday evening, while I was home alone, in response to a highly anxious friend, Colin, reporting welfare concerns in response to some social media posts I made about positive spiritual experiences I’d had.  Many of my other friends did not share Colin’s concerns, and thought my behaviour was harmless, good spirited and comedic.

At the time of the attendance, I was calmly writing on my computer, planning to have dinner, watch the football, and go to bed ahead of a significant day of work following a stressful but successful previous working week winning a court trial.

Shortly after their arrival, a police sergeant dismissed three other police members and remained with the clinician as I detailed how traumatic the 2003 hospitalisation had been and why I did not wish to attend hospital.  I was denied access to my phone, refused permission to speak with a lawyer, a support person, or the psychiatrist the clinician consulted with by phone.  Eventually the clinician directed me to take the next day off work and medicate at home, which I reluctantly agreed to because there was no other choice.

Audiovisual police body camera footage since shown to me but not released, shows me calm, lucid, rational and cooperative, and a clear agreement I would remain at home, with a family member to join me while the clinician retrieved medication from the hospital. 

The plan then inexplicably changed, at which point the sergeant deactivates his body camera in contravention of police procedure and directs me to attend hospital to collect the medication.  Requests to bring my phone were again refused and met with repeated assurances I could remain in the police vehicle, ingest medication in it, would not need to enter the hospital, and would be swiftly returned home.

However, upon arrival at the hospital, the plan again inexplicably changed, and I was directed to enter the hospital and again denied permission to speak with anyone else about my now grave concerns.   When I cooperatively disembarked the vehicle but declined to enter hospital, I was then threatened by the clinician and ultimately involuntarily hospitalised.

Although the Mental Health & Wellbeing Commissioner (MHWC) accepted a complaint about this incident, it has closed it without either investigation or conciliation, or even considering the footage. [2]   This is despite the footage evidencing the majority of the hospital’s responses to the MHWC are entirely false. [3]

At the time of my two hospitalisations, I, like many others who interact with our system, was experiencing significant psycho-social stress.    But I was navigating those stressors in my own way, and was not at risk to myself, nor anyone else.  Moreover, I remained perfectly capable of reconciling my experiences, with the right support. 

Unfortunately, I did not get the right support.  What I instead got was a system which pathologised my presentation, behaviour, and what were ultimately very human experiences.  It labelled me with a disorder and as abnormal, and pointed the finger at me as being the problem, rather than understanding my presentation was the product of a number of problems being encountered in my life at the time.

Rather than help alleviate or support me through my stressors, it introduced a whole new layer of virtually insurmountable psycho-social stress via its harmful, abusive and terrifying interventions.  Interventions which were also profoundly stigmatising, disempowering and dehumanising.[4]   

To be diagnosed as a 26-year-old as having a disorder was extremely confusing, and created severe anxiety and self-doubt, leaving me, at times, a shell of the person I was. 

Fortunately, a psychologist I happened across in 2004 suggested we put the bi-polar diagnosis aside and focus treatment on what had happened in my life to assist manage my psycho-social stressors.  This proved extremely helpful and therapeutically beneficial, as opposed to what the hospital had done. 

Yet at no stage did either hospital provide access to a psychologist or even a referral to one, with the second hospitalisation preventing me from attending a pre-arranged psychologist’s appointment.  Instead, my dignity and autonomy were undermined by a system which does not provide appropriate support or care.

Since my release in 2021, I have again remained medication free and not missed a day of work for mental health reasons.  All of which begs the question, why have we got a mental health hospital system which operates this way, and causes often irreversible harm, instead of delivering least restrictive and therapeutically beneficial treatment?