Bystander action

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Being an active bystander

We all know disrespect when we see it but sometimes find ourselves in situations we know are unacceptable and we don’t know how to respond.  

In difficult situations, particularly when there are other people around, we might assume someone else will do something or can intercede better than we can.  

On other occasions, we don’t know if, or how, we should intervene.  

Stepping up as a bystander isn’t always easy - but small actions from active bystanders can have a big impact on the situation and the people involved.  

The 4Ds model of active bystander intervention provides practical ways you can step up as an active bystander. 

Your personal safety always comes first and there is no hierarchy to the 4D’s. Choose the action you feel comfortable with.   

Stepping up as an active bystander is about holding people accountable for their actions and creating a culture where harmful behaviour is not accepted.  

The 4Ds

Talk directly with the people involved, calling out behaviour and/or raising awareness.

  • If I see unacceptable behaviour, how can I intervene?
    • Ask the person being targeted (by the behaviour) if they are OK or if they want your help. 
    • Be guided by them about how you can best support them in this situation.  
    • You can use the 4Ds model: direct, distract, delegate or document to respond. 
  • Should I speak to the person exhibiting the unacceptable behavior? 
    • Please note: this will reinforce that the behaviour is not OK. 
    • Only use this option if you feel safe to do so: 
      • Not feeling safe? Ask your friends to help you intervene or delegate to someone with more authority to act.  
  • Some possible ways to challenge disrespectful behaviour
    • Calling out sexist language and comments  
      • “Hey, that’s not ok!”  
      • “We don’t speak like that about women.” 
    • Don’t laugh at sexist jokes, instead, you could say:  
      • “I don’t get it! 
      • “I don’t find that funny.”   
    • Ask them to clarify:  
      • “What do you mean by that?”  
    • Talk about the impact of their behaviour on you (as a bystander): 
      • “I know you mean it as a joke, but it makes me uncomfortable” 
      • “It makes me feel… [use your own words] …when you speak that way” 
      • If you’re on a night out and someone is giving unwanted attention to another person who looks uncomfortable, you could say something like: “Hey, I just don’t think they are into you.” 

Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to challenge someone in the moment, but consider - particularly when you are friends - speaking to them directly about their behaviour when it’s just the two of you.  

Intercept the behaviour to allow you to check the person being targeted by the behaviour is ok, without directly addressing the behaviour.

  • When you create a distraction, you’re interrupting the problematic behaviour. This can deescalate or change the direction the situation is heading in. 
  • You can distract the people involved by: 
    • Starting a new conversation. 
    • Asking the person at risk of harm to get a drink with you/help you with something/go to the bathroom with you. 
    • Create a diversion (drop something, spill a drink). 
    • If you see someone being harassed on campus, you might approach the person being targeted by the unacceptable behaviour for directions.  
    • Rally others to come and help you intervene. You could ‘remove’ people from the situation (eg suggest heading off to a different venue or doing something else). 
  • When you’ve distracted the people involved, it gives you an opportunity to check in with the person being targeted by the disrespectful behaviour. Then you can make sure they feel safe (eg ask if they need you to sit with them while they call someone or help them call a ride home). 

Sometimes we don’t feel safe to intervene ourselves. It’s 100% OK to find someone else to help who is more qualified or has more authority to intervene. 

  • Who you delegate to will depend on the situation. 
  • Tell them what you saw/heard and ask them to step in. 
  • Possible people you might delegate to are: 
    • campus security 
    • police 
    • bar staff/venue security  
    • event staff 
    • residential accommodation staff 
    • course coordinator/tutor. 

Record details of the situation, take notes and consider making a report to the University.  

  • It can help the person who experienced the disrespectful behaviour to have evidence of when and where an incident happened, in case they want to report it in the future. 
  • Consider taking a screen shot on your phone lock screen as a time/date stamp of when the incident happened. 
  • Make some notes about what you saw/heard. 
  • Afterwards, ask the targeted person what they would like to do with the documentation. 
    • Check in with them and let them know you saw what happened and ask if they OK. 
    • For information about AU and external support services visit Respect at AU. 
  • Always remember to consider the privacy of the victim-survivor. 
  • Before you document a situation, ask yourself “Is anyone helping the person experiencing the disrespectful behaviour right now?”  
    • If the answer is no, consider using the 4Ds model – choose direct, distract or delegate before you document. 

What if I didn’t intervene at the time? 

Sometimes we miss the moment to intervene because we feel overwhelmed. Perhaps we were unsure what to do or didn’t realise until later that the behaviour was not OK.  

  • You can always check in later with the person who was the target of the behaviour: 
    • Let them know you saw what happened and that it wasn’t OK.   
    • Ask them if they are OK. 
    • Ask them if there is any way you can support them. 
  • Use it as an opportunity to think about what you’d do next time in the same situation. 
    • When we plan how we could intervene (next time) it makes it easier to step up. 
  • You might also consider making a bystander report to AU Integrity Unit. 

Resources

Find more information about being an active bystander:

Support options

For more information on reporting and support options visit Respect at AU.