Wedding thoughts

As I have blogged about before, I am to be the bride’s ‘best man’ in the upcoming wedding between two of my friends.

The wedding has been a bit disrupted by COVID restrictions, with guest from Victoria effectively ‘written off’ as not being able to attend, while those in NSW or the ACT have recently received a reprieve and will (fingers crossed!) be able to attend! This is crucial given a fellow member of the bridal party resides in Sydney.

As the ‘man of honour’ (or bride of honour equivalent) I was initially tasked with organising the ‘hens’ night. I was recently however stripped (!!) of this honour due to a combination of poor planning and lack of devotion to the task (whoops!). No matter, the event has been planned by the friend in the bridal party who is often referred to we sometimes refer to as the ‘Queen of logistics’.

I will blog about the events of the party next week, but in the meantime, let me pose a question that has been top of mind: as wedding’s expand and adapt to include various genders and sexualities, are traditions, particularly those that focus on separating the genders, still meaningful?

It is well-documented that while marriages might be becoming less common (with high divorce rates), many young people continue to spend incredible amounts of money on grand weddings that could well be described as ‘traditional’. The white dress and the bridal party, with a hens and/or bucks night and various other rituals fill out the events meaning.

As a gay man, I have never really thought much about these things, but I wonder are people performing these traditions out of a genuine desire to concentrate their union in a particular way, or is it just an example of path dependency – i.e. people just doing what has gone before. I don’t know the answer and I certainly intent to get fully into everything my friends’ traditional wedding has in store, but I think it’s worth considering.