Gender Identity

This can take some time. That's OK, it can be a complicated process and there is no need to rush. Seeking help and telling others can be difficult. At the same time, it is important to find the right people to talk to in order to avoid becoming isolated. Others may be going through similar circumstances and can point us in the direction of safe practitioners and good resources. TransHealth SA is a great place to start. Headspace, Minus18 and Rainbow Directory SA are also highly recommended.

If, on the other hand, someone tells you their gender, accept that they are right. Questioning someone or disputing their gender is both disrespectful and arrogant. If you want to support a friend or family member, you don't need to be an expert or know all the answers to be an ally. It starts by listening and asking how you can help. If you make a mistake, acknowledge it quickly, correct yourself and move on. It demonstrate compassion and a commitment to getting it right next time.

Family, partners and friends may not know how to process new information, or how to be supportive.  As a gender diverse person, this can be a great opportunity to tell people what is needed but sometimes, it can also feel like an obligation to take on an educational role. It is important to look after yourself because whilst you may want to help someone, it's ultimately not your responsibility to educate others. You don't have to do it all and there are lots of useful resources you can direct family and friends to including:

• Glaad - shaping culture in the media, and how to become a better ally to transgender people
• Transequality - understanding, being respectful and supportive to non-binary people
• LGBTIQ Health - how to be an intersex ally

At the same time, it's also important to put your safety first when coming out. If you don't want to disclose your identity or feel like you need more time, that is absolutely OK. It's really important to do what works for you on your own timeline.

Gender dysphoria is the "experience of distress associated with their gender, bodies, or how those around them perceive their gender" (TransHub)

It's OK to ask for help and talk through your situation and working with an appropriate health professional can really help. There is no definitive timeline to progress through nor set of appropriate emotions to feel. Some days may feel OK whilst others are distressing. Connect with people who understand and validate your identity. If you want to talk to someone, connect with the Pride Club, or talk confidentially with the Counselling Service, BFriend and QLife. You can also check out the Need More Info? box below for other useful contacts.

Finding people who validate your gender and support you is very important. Consider contacting services online or use phone lines or even have counselling using a false name if that is a concern for you. You can talk confidentially with the Counselling Service, BFriend and QLife or reach out to the Pride Club. 

It can also help to have some people you can go out with safely. Check out your local town/city and see if there are any groups supporting gender diverse people. For example, an organisation such as Black Rainbow.

Although there are still challenges to be addressed, there are lots of supportive people here on campus to connect with.

• The ALLY network has over 300 members, both staff and students, who support the uni's commitment to provide a safe, inclusive and respectful environment for people who identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ*). A list of network members and their contact details can be found on the website.
• The Pride Club provides a safe and inclusive space for LGBT+ students and runs fortnightly afternoon teas and other collaborative events.
• The Queer Officer of the Student Representative Council represents and advocates for the needs of queer students at uni.
• The Student Wellbeing team invites student participation and engagement on a range of wellbeing topics and welcomes regular feedback on ways to better support LGBTQI+ students.

It makes the journey a lot easier if you have health professionals with appropriate knowledge and compassion for gender diverse issues. It is a good idea to hunt around until you find the right people for you. Online forums, recommendations from other people who might have experience with health professionals and the list of services at the bottom of this page can be a good place to start.