Learning to be okay with myself

I was a self-proclaimed scaredy cat when it came to doing things by myself. 

I used to bribe my siblings to accompany me to the shops and the thought of going on a bus alone terrified me. The ease I had with having someone with me (I’m assuming) stemmed from having a childhood with an older sister and twin brother always by my side. I felt nervous doing things by myself and needed validation wherever I went. At the start of university, I made it my goal to be the most confident person - this was my fresh start and I had no choice but to make friends.

My first prominent memory is going to a first-year’s drinks night despite not having formed any solid friendships. I had to talk and introduce myself to strangers. I'm so glad I did because most of my friendships stem from meeting people that night. I often wonder how my life would be different if I didn’t go.

I can gladly report now that I am a whizz at shopping by myself and taking the bus (love that growth!!). However, there is much more to this journey - I set a goal for 2021 to push myself to really, really get out of my comfort zone.

On New Year’s Eve, I decided the day before that I would go camping by myself. This meant that I would have to drive a while away, set up a tent by myself and enjoy my own company. The next morning I couldn’t find my sleeping bag. In hindsight, I wondered if this a sign that I was not prepared and should cancel this trip? But I took myself to BCF and bought one – there was nothing that could change my mind.

So, I camped, got bitten by mozzies (my one regret is forgetting insect repellent), read a book and sketched. I survived and felt pretty good about myself. But how could I challenge myself more? Well, I then booked an interstate trip to Melbourne a month later by myself – and I went and felt on top of the world (despite Covid cutting the holiday short).

This may not sound impressive but perhaps somebody finds this encouraging. I believe it’s about perspective and growth, recognising that I experienced difficulty doing things on my own but I’ve challenged myself to leave that comfort zone. I would tell my younger self to be more confident in your abilities and that you’ll be fine after you’ve done it once. Learning to be okay with being with oneself can be easy for some, whereas others struggle (like I did – and still do sometimes).

I would recommend little by little, challenge yourself - go out to a café alone or go on a mini road trip. Learning to be okay with being by yourself is an ability that you have to build on. Don’t be hard on yourself but know when it’s time to push yourself just a little more.