Surviving a long distance relationship

My boyfriend went to Canada and didn’t come home for 8 months. Within the first few weeks of meeting Lee, he told me he planned on working overseas for his gap year. So there I was, in the midst of the delightful honeymoon period of our relationship, knowing that soon we would find ourselves living in different continents. Will we last? Should I visit him? Should we just take a break from the relationship?

Full disclosure: we survived the 8-months apart. We have been together ever since then, four whole years later.

I won’t understate how difficult doing a long distance relationship is, because it can consume you entirely, but with a few handy tips and a lot strength, you can make it through, too.

Stay connected outside your virtual world

This is the most important tip. I was lucky at the time that I worked with some great people who kept me preoccupied while Lee was away. We went to aqua aerobic classes, cocktail nights, dinner parties, and board game nights. The time apart is difficult, but it doesn’t have to be a drag. Don’t spend the time waiting for them to come back.

Set individual goals

As heartbreaking as it is being physically separated, this is the perfect time to follow through with your own goals. I signed up to a gym, read as many books as I possibly could, and finally learnt how to do my makeup properly. Yours can be big, small, or just as frivolous as my goals were.

Schedule in time

When I say schedule in time, I mean it. Write it in your diary that you will talk every Sunday at 2PM, or whatever suits you. Find a gap you both have free. If you both want to make it work, you’ll stick to it.

FaceTime is your best friend

Sorry, but a regular phone call won’t cut it. Get your partner to show you around their new living quarters, and get acquainted with their new friends. This process is even better if they all have polite Canadian accents.

Spend time with their friends

Chances are, your partners’ friends are missing them just like you are. Make time to go out for coffee dates and check in with them.

Celebrate milestones

Give credit to yourselves for surviving. Celebrate all your anniversaries and birthdays, all while making a big deal out of the little things.

Remember, long distance isn’t forever.