House party protocols

It’s been almost two years now since I moved in to my current share house. When I first met one of my neighbours, they said, ‘Oh, so you live in the party house!’ Apparently, for many years, our house has been known as the party house of the neighbourhood due to the regular loud music that stands out in a leafy suburb where most residents are retirees.

The house is well designed for parties. It has plenty of huge rooms, a big yard, and a creepy trap-door cellar that enthrals party guests. The house is old and falling apart, which means that most of the previous tenants were also students in their twenties.

This ‘party house’ theory was confirmed when my housemate’s dad told us that he remembered coming to our house for a party in the 1980s!  

So, in line with tradition, we have thrown a few house parties of our own. They are always very fun, but not without their perils. One time, we invited a few too many people, the word got out, and our house was flooded with people we didn’t even know.

As a result of a few mishaps, my housemates and I have developed a few protocols for our house parties:

1. Invite only people you know. We usually ask people to run plus-ones past us to avoid the invite list getting too big.
2. Tell the neighbours. We may have accepted our fate as the party house, but we still want our neighbours to like us.
3. Keep the bathrooms well stocked with toilet paper. Somehow, it always runs out really quickly.
4. Provide food, not alcohol. Most house parties have too much alcohol and not enough food. Our favourite low-cost option is to cut up a huge bag of potatoes and make some hot wedges.
5. Be prepared for things to go wrong. Whenever there are a lot of people in one space, let alone with alcohol involved, there might be issues that range from broken glass, to small injuries, to panic attacks. Have towels to clean up messes, first aid equipment on hand, and quiet areas where people can take some time out.
6. Make sure there is room for people to sleep if they don’t have a safe way home.

If you host house parties, do you have any rules of your own?