Taking back control by establishing routines

The baby has arrived and I feel like night and day just blend together and that I've lost a sense of time. She's up every couple of hours and, if I'm not feeding her, I'm changing her nappy or trying to get her to sleep. Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat. Then, of course, there are the many moments where she cries and I'm not really sure what it means. It's challenging going out because you can't really predict what might happen; how long she'll nap for, If I'll be able to finish a cup of peppermint tea with a friend before she cries, and so on and so forth.

I have done all the background reading I could to prepare myself as much as possible for a newborn. Newborns sleep between 14-16 hours a day. Here I was with my seven-week-old, and she was barely getting 10 hours of sleep a day. Despite the fact that we seemed to be constantly rocking her throughout the day, she wouldn't have any daytime naps. It wasn't until we had established an age-appropriate routine for her that she started settling and really having engaged playtime with us.

Motherhood, like the PhD program, has a steep learning curve. I've learned that, although there are many things outside of my control, I can better prepare myself for issues and setbacks by having established routines. There is so much flexibility and independence within a PhD degree. A thesis of 80,000 words seems really daunting. However, with a routine of dedicated writing blocks daily, the task gets done. A routine also allows me to have space for priority work and also opportunities for self-care and social activities. It's a matter of incorporating it into my day and the calendar. A routine for me is like the foundations of my day and helps give me occasions for being spontaneous, too. Knowing that I have done the priority tasks allows me more free time, instead of wasting my time procrastinating or getting stuck with not doing much but worry.

My routine is especially useful during Mad March. I get all the necessary work done and, before the end of the day, I know I'll have time for a spontaneous social activity if a friend calls up at the last-minute inviting me to go see a show.