Parallel projects, not multi-tasking

My daughter’s starting day care next month and I find myself wishing she was a newborn again and I could have her with me 24/7. I think I’d happily give up sleep again if I could spend full days with her. Where did the time go? I am pretty sure I will say this again when she starts going to school. I don’t think there is ever enough time. What matters is the quality of the moment.

I have to admit, I’m experiencing a bit of mum guilt. Some days I wish I could afford to not go back to work and be a full-time mum. Still, do I stop being a mum because I’m at work, am I no longer a mum then? Even as a working solo parent, I would say I am still a full-time mum. Even when she is in day care or when she starts school, I don’t stop being mum when she is not in my presence. I need to continue working and providing for our little, but very special, family unit. Also, she is her own person – as much as she has my heart, she is not mine. I would like her to be able to explore, discover, learn, but always secure in knowing I am here, and she can always come home. One day she will be fully grown and although I will always be here for her, I am also still full and complete in my own life’s purpose and passion.

But hang on, I’m jumping way too far ahead – she’s not even in school yet! I have yet to survive parenting work, professional work, and PhD work this year! I think the important thing for me is not to multi-task. Instead I will perfect the art and the competency of being able to successfully work on several different projects in parallel to each other, but not work on them all at the same time. As many of us have learned during the lockdown and in the working from home experience, we need to set boundaries between our different roles.

I’m pretty sure I will look back at this time enrolled with the University of Adelaide and miss being a student. What matters is the quality of the moment. There is time for everything I value. I won’t multi-task, I will be present in the moments.