Diverging friendships

One of my favourite things about university is all the diverse interesting people you can meet. It is not only a diverse place but also a global one. It is likely you will meet someone from almost every continent in the world or state of Australia. Similar to school, you will find a group of friends and networks that guide you through your time at university. Also, like school you will find that there will come a point when your friendships diverge as your pathways in life change and expand. 

However, I have noticed that friendships at university are slightly different. You have a lot more freedom and self-organisation than in school and your opportunity to make friends is placed much more on myself as an individual. I have always found it difficult to find a good group of friends and even more difficult sometimes knowing when to let go and move on. Trying to keep pushing myself to talk to new people, try new things, check out clubs and societies interact with housemates and not give up can be hard.

Perhaps what also makes university different is that it provides an insight into a global world and as your networks and friend groups diverge, they diverge into all corners of the globe. People come and go and before you know it your degree is finished. You meet friends in first year, friends in final year and friends doing a PHD. Whilst it is always good to keep in contact and catch up with friends I am trying to reflect on if a friendship is healthy or has diverged in a different direction. As much as I might struggle with putting in zero effort, this sometimes seems to be the answer. Friendships are quite simple, a healthy balance of give and take. I try asking myself, is this friendship one sided? Is it more give than take? Do I feel like I am putting in more effort than is being reciprocated? If my answer to some of these questions is a yes, then perhaps the friendship has diverged into a different space and the next challenge is coming to terms with that.