Post-exam emptiness

The long-awaited freedom is finally here!

Congratulations! You’ve completed your exams! What now? What’re your plans for the holidays? What are you planning to do with all your free time? 

I answered these questions quite easily during the semester. But now that the semester has actually ended, I’m not quite sure what to do. Did the answers disappear from my head? Or am I just so tired I’ve lost motivation? 

I used to not look forward to my mornings when I’d have to start thinking about what content to study that day or freak out about how much is going to be on the exam. Now that I’ve finished my exams I look forward to the morning, the amazing day that I have ahead of me full of not studying. But for some reason, I stare at my list of things I wanted to do that I made during the semester, and none of them seem too appealing anymore. Instead of putting on that show, I was just dying to scroll endlessly through social media. 

I remember the past summer breaks going by very quickly, time zooming past and me being left with the regret of not having achieved everything I wanted to do. I didn’t want to feel like that again. However, by making myself do things that I no longer feel motivated to do I began to question myself. Why am I forcing myself to do stuff that’s meant to be fun? Why am I putting expectations on my free time? 

I’ve realised that perhaps rather than diving straight into a checklist, it would be better for me to recuperate without expectations and do whatever I feel is right to achieve that. I want to spend time in bed resting or meet up with friends to do nothing in particular. Hopefully, spending the time recharging will give me the energy to truly enjoy the items on my checklist.