I hate saying goodbye

Over the weekend, we said goodbye to one of our housemates, who is moving overseas. As I sat down with him to have one last cup of tea, I was caught off guard by a strong feeling of melancholy.

There is something about endings that always makes me really sad. It’s like a bubbling cauldron of different emotions.  

I feel scared at the thought of things never being the same again. I feel unsettled by the change. I feel regret at the missed opportunities that I will never have again, like all the times we were too busy to hang out, and then there’s just the loss of a friend from my life.

This feeling reminds me of being ten years old again and feeling the utter misery of a family holiday coming to an end. I would be grumpy for the whole car trip home, not yet ready to face going back to school.

I don’t think there’s any way to make goodbyes easier. They just suck.

There are a few silver linings, however. Goodbyes make you realise that someone is important to you. Until now, I didn't realise how much my housemates had begun to feel like family to me. Goodbyes are always new beginnings in one way or another. For John, that means having adventures overseas. For us, it means welcoming a new housemate.

Goodbye John, hello next chapter!