Self-doubt & graduate work

Now that I am in the latter half of my degree, I am finding the prospect of getting a full-time job increasingly worrying. I am constantly wondering if I am good enough and whether I would be able to keep up in a full-time industry job.

This is when my self-doubt comes in. I start to doubt my abilities, my intelligence and the feasibility of my goals. When I think about how often these feelings worry me, the more I realise that it is an unhealthy thought process. When I say it out loud, it sounds crazy. I am literally worrying if I am good enough to work full time in a job I haven’t even applied for.

This is when my self-doubt turns to feelings of anxiety. I worry that when I start to seriously apply for different jobs that I won't get one or even worse, I will end up working a job that I absolutely hate. I even end up worrying about how my first day at a new job will go. I worry about fitting in and being valued, learning the new systems and undoubtedly making mistakes. Once again, I have found that this line of thought can be really tiring, unhelpful and counterproductive.

Lately I have been trying to put these thoughts out of my mind. If I find a position or graduate opportunity that I am interested in, I'll just apply. I tell myself that all I can do is try. No more thinking. I either get the position or I don’t and I will cross those bridges when I come to them. Secondly, I have attended two careers workshops for interviewing practice and employment help. I must admit that I didn’t think they would lead to much and would most likely be another round of lecture slides. However, I found the sessions really helpful, engaging and methodical. They helped me find some structure in my goals and and helped me improve how I go about conducting an interview. In an odd way, talking about what employers want and how I can demonstrate my skills helped me to stop over-thinking and self-doubting and reflect on what I have done.  

Finally, even though it is hard, I try to think of the big picture. In part, I think the big picture message is that I will probably work in dozens of different industries and jobs and have some good ones, some great ones and some really bad ones. However, I also think that we can choose what we value and our goals. At the end of the day, what we value is only what we tell ourselves matters and I should always be in control of that. I also like to remind myself why I want a particular job or why I feel so much pressure to do something in particular. When I ask that I usually find an answer that is quite simple. I like and value lots of different things and there will always be an interesting adventure out there.