Permission to rest

I’ve been trying to catch a break but no matter how long I spend lying in bed, I still feel exhausted.

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely tired from the rush of life, due dates and social engagements. Studying Oral Health has brought about challenges that require both academic writings and socialising with patients, both of which equally drain my internal battery. The logical thing to do next would be to rest up and recharge your battery to continue on. But what do you do when regardless of how much you try to rest, you still feel tired? 

That pretty much sums up how I’ve been feeling recently. I lie in bed “resting” in my free time to try and rid myself of exhaustion. However, in these moments of staring at the ceiling trying to will myself to sleep, I can’t seem to shake the guilty feelings. The feeling that I could be doing something productive with my time instead of lying in bed, and so the conflict in my brain between resting and working ensues. Instead of feeling rejuvenated, I end up worried.

It’s only after sharing this experience with a friend I felt comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Through our conversation, we dug deeper and came to the realisation that we were tying our concept of time to productivity. These feelings of guilt were not replenishing my mental and physical state but leaving me in a cycle of tiredness and feeling burnt out even faster. 

I needed to challenge the notion that resting was “doing nothing,” or being “lazy” and “wasting time.” Living in a world that relies on the idea of working ourselves till exhaustion, resting almost seems like an act of rebellion. For as long as I can remember, a lot of my confidence has been linked to achievements. But self-worth should be intrinsically motivated. Regardless of ticking items off the to-do list, you are still good enough.