Two types of friends

A conversation with a group of people made me consider two particular type of friends.

When I make a new friend, I often want to cling to them straight away. I want to hang out with them, message them and immediately establish their importance in my life. Perhaps sometimes this is intense! I know others though, who are reserved, shy and introverted, and prefer to stay at home alone. It has taken me some time to understand that there are just different types of friends.

With people like me, there are concerns that you are too clingy! It is great to have a friend who really values your time together, but maybe sometimes this is too much. You could feel overwhelmed by the pressure to always be hanging out with them, or even stressed about constantly having to respond to their messages. How can we define a healthy relationship with a friend like this?

Most important, is to set boundaries. Let them know when you are too busy or overwhelmed! I've found friends like these are worth it, because when you do catch up they are so happy to see you. But of course, you must let them know if you need some space. Also, if they are a good friend, you should feel you can communicate with them about how you feel.

This is not new information to me; I find it more difficult to deal with the friends who like to shut off. The ones who may not show up to a party because their social anxiety is overwhelming them, or the ones who do not respond to your message but leave you seen. You can feel as if they are not caring about you, or that they are not valuing your friendship. 

But, I have had to learn that this is not the case. They often just express their love and care for you in a different way! Often, it is nothing to do with you, and they just prefer to have some space sometimes. With friends like these, it is important to find activities that they are comfortable with, to ensure you are still spending time together. And again, healthy communication is key!

Though of course, there is nothing wrong with realising that a friend's type of friendship, whether open or closed, could not be respecting you, or making you feel devalued. Perhaps then it is time to reconsider how you feel. But if it is a matter of differences in social battery, that can easily be resolved!