How can I support someone else's mental health?
This week (7-11 September) is Health Week at Adelaide Uni, and I've been reflecting a lot on how to take care of my health, how to do the things that I know make me feel good, both mentally and physically.
Thinking about these things also got me thinking how to best support the health of other people in my life, in particular, my friends and family members with mental health issues.
Most of us probably know someone who has or is dealing with mental health issues. It might be a relative, a partner, or a friend. If you do know someone in this situation, you’ll know it can be hard to know what to do and how to express your support in a meaningful way.
I have a few close friends with diagnosed mental health issues, ranging from anxiety to depression (or a combination of both) to a myriad of other things. One of my closest friends deals with quite serious bouts of depression now and then, and when they do, I often feel like I’m failing them somehow. I think it’s natural to want to fix the problem at hand. I know personally, I have to battle that voice inside my head telling me that if I just talk to them and hang out for a while, then everything will be okay. The problem with this approach is that someone who is experiencing a very low low because of a condition like depression can’t simply bounce back over a chat and a cup of tea. It typically takes time, ongoing support, and often professional treatment to begin gradually healing.
Everyone deals with their mental health problems in their own way. For some people in my life, they find it easy to reach out and talk. Others retreat and go quiet. In all instances, though, I’ve found communication is the key. If I know a friend is struggling, I’ll reach out, even if I don’t hear a reply. A simple, ‘Hey, how are you feeling now?’ can go a long way (or at least, I hope it can). I’ll send updates every few days or hours (depending on the problem at hand) just to check in. If it’s only a one-sided conversation, that’s fine. I tell myself that it’s better they know I’m there and I’m available, and if they do tell me to leave them alone for a while, I’ll at least feel better knowing that I tried. This isn't always easy; sometimes it means swallowing our pride or the fear that we're annoying the other person. Truthfully, though, I’d rather be told I’m annoying than regret not reaching out at all.
Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. I certainly don’t profess to know everything. In fact, I don’t know much of anything. But I can confidently say support – in whatever form it takes – plays a significant role in the recovery process of someone experiencing mental health issues, and educating yourself about their specific circumstances is critical to providing the best support possible.
In saying that, go easy on yourself. It takes time to learn how to be there for other people. It takes a lot of listening to what they tell you and a lot of silent observation during those times where they aren’t telling you anything. The most important thing is that you're there.
And remember, if you’re struggling with mental health or you know someone who is, don’t ever feel ashamed or afraid to reach out. There will always be someone who will listen and always someone who cares.
Find additional help and resources via the Wellbeing Hub, the Counselling Support page, or at Beyond Blue.